In our previous blog we made some suggestions on money talks with your new partner and working within the confines of personality type to strive for a more positive outcome. This blog will focus on the positives you can work with to make the money chat experience more supportive and fulfilling for each of you.
1. Focus on both your strengths
No one is perfect. For example some people tend to get emotional about stuff they want, making practical decisions about what to buy now and what to buy later becomes more difficult. When they get that impulse they need to slow down. Others are not the best at staying on top of routine financial matters like organising tax records. This is where you can lean on the other persons strengths to support each other.
Your finances can be better off together than they would be apart, and not just because you split the mortgage and the groceries, but because you bring a strength to the table that the other doesn’t.
2. It’s ok to disagree
People value money differently but the more you talk about your values and differences with each other, the less likely you’ll resent the other for a financial decision you may not understand. The important thing is to discuss the pros and cons and end up making decisions together.
3. Don’t Make It a Big Deal
Don’t wait until you’re upset about a big purchase your partner made to bring up finances. The best way to talk about money is a little bit every day. Money is a part of life and it becomes a big deal when you bury your thoughts and feelings and/or hide stuff.
4. Numbers aren’t the only important thing. Values mean something.
This is huge. If you have a certain passion (like shopping) and find a bargain that isn’t justifiable, but a great deal, you might not be able to reflect that bargain to your partner who doesn’t get your view. However, they may have another hobby that you don’t understand and thus have no idea about how buying that particular product might save money in the long run. e.g. a better quality purchase will last longer than a poor quality item that is the same but needs to ultimately be replaced many times.
So instead of having a freak about the cost, try seeing the others view of why it’s such a good deal. It may not be about the number.
The number is only part of the story. It’s about what you value. If you want your partner to understand why you need that $500 second hand expensive bike, that was a good deal, you need to take time to explain why you value it and what cost it will save you. And your partner needs to take the time to understand.
5. Don’t lie!
You may not equate blowing the budget on wants or betting $200 on the Melbourne cup behind your partner’s back to cheating, but the damage you’re doing may be just as real. Financial infidelity is a real problem. Agree to always tell the truth. Make that agreement with your partner and be honest!
6. Talk About Making Money, Not Just Spending It
How we earn our money through work, business ventures, investing; this shapes our overall relationship with money in a significant way. We often focus on how we spend, save, and invest money and too little on how we earn our money. Shift your focus to making money and you’ll see more opportunities to earn.
If you’re facing financial hardship we are here to talk about a solution. Call us on 1300 887 211 or Book a Free No Obligation Phone Consultation with our friendly team and we can discuss debt management options specially focused on your personal situation.